As I said goodbye to 2016 and hello to a new year, I have felt an overwhelming feeling that something needs to change, or rather, a lot of things need to change. The world is so chaotic and strange right now.  We will soon have a reality TV star as our president, the Great Barrier Reef is dying,  entire species are going extinct, violence and hate is everywhere.  People suck, the weather sucks, the economy sucks. It is more important now than ever before to have my home be a safe place, a haven, the calm in the storm. A place where my family and I can come in, out of the chaos and know that all is well. Unfortunately, my home doesn’t always feel like this. It is often messy and disorganized, we often spend too much time being unproductive, eating junk food, staying up too late, complaining about things we are perfectly capable of changing, but for some reason refuse to. Something needs to change.

    I pretty much always make the New Years resolution to lose weight (and I pretty much always fail), but not this year, this year I am focusing on gaining control over my life, finding balance and happiness.  Maybe it’s because I’m growing older, or maybe its because I am a mom now, but I have started to have this panicked feeling like I am wasting my life, like if things don’t change I will look back 40 years from now and have so many regrets, and it terrifies me. I don’t want to just go through the motions of life, being in debt, unhealthy, and complacent.  So I have started to make some goals and take baby steps towards living the life I want, being the mom Ronin deserves, and a wife worthy of the unconditional love that David already gives me.

    My biggest focus is my physical and mental health, which I believe are tied very closely to one another. I am consciously not making a goal to lose weight, because that just never works for me, at least not long term. And really this isn’t about my weight, my weight is merely a symptom of the problem. The problem is that I have been fueling my body with processed cheap food, sitting still way too often, and not giving my body the positive talk and love it deserves.  Here are some of the changes I making to get me started in the right direction.

    • Cook dinner 5-6 days a week. For now, these meals don’t necessarily even have to be “healthy” (pretty much anything cooked at home is going to healthier than eating out anyway).  I am just working on building a routine and making a habit out of cooking daily.
    • Exercise/be active every single day.  This doesn’t have to be long intense workouts everyday, some days it could be taking Ronin on a walk, or a 10 minute HIIT workout in my basement, it doesn’t matter, again, this is just about building this into my routine and making a habit out of it.
    • Drink more water. I am starting with a goal of at least 64oz a day and hope to eventually work up to a gallon…baby steps.
    • Positive self talk. I will not longer complain and degrade my body.  I can still love and appreciate my body and all that it is capable of while striving to improve it. I will no longer tell myself that I am  lazy, a bad mom, an incompetent employee, or an undeserving wife. I am none of those things, and it is unacceptable to say such things to anyone, including myself.

    That’s it…for now. One of my biggest challenges is that I always want drastic and fast results, in the past I have made goals to do things like “lose 20 pounds in 2 months” or “cook organic healthy meals everyday” and of course, I am never successful. So I have to keep reminding myself that this is about slow and steady progress that will eventually lead to a total lifestyle change, not a quick fix.

    I have other goals that I am working on involving budgeting and housekeeping, but I think I’ll save those for another post. I’ve already rambled on for far too long.




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